Grief recovery, loss of child, healing after death & loss 

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The Birth of My Son

The birth of my son was the best day of my life. Born on the 4th of July. 23 years ago today I was lying in a hospital al bed waiting for the birth to my son, my first child. My husband was working in San Diego and was making the drive back and got lost. This put him back several hours and by 11:00 that night I was in full blown labor. At this point I didn't know if

 
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I love you Phil

I love and miss you Phil Phil…good night. Mom Please follow and like us:

 
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I miss Phillip

Published on 28 May, 2013 by in Uncategorized

I miss Phillip. I am in San Francisco with Paul and Sam. We are having a good time bopping around the city…tasting wine, eating good food. Sam has just finished a leadership class in Northern California. I am so proud of him. It is a class Phil wanted to go to when he was alive. The constant and persistent ego is not my friend. The only thing I can do is be diligent in recognizing that my ego wants me

 
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Time Flys When You’re NOT Having Fun!

Today is April 14, 2013. It has been exactly 226 days since the police came to my door and told me my baby left this earth. I don't know how I have gotten this far down the road….I have put the hurt on my health since he died. I was probably in the best shape I had been since I was 25 years old and now…I am in the worst. The human brain is a powerful thing. With all the

 
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Missing my Son

Wow Phil. It has been almost six months since you died. On March 1, 2013 it will be six months. It is also 3 years March 1st since my mom died, Grandma. I never expected to outlive you though. I did her. I am working with the new reality I have now. It is opportunity for healing. It is opportunity to get close to others who loved you. That is what you would want…I am sure of it. You were

 
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For all you dads out there

For all you dads out there…I want to share what I see happening. I want to share what I experienced happening. Of course this is not ALL dads…I am using it as a blanket statement because I know dads are busy making a living. They are focused. They want their sons to grow up and be able to support their families as well. The thing is…your baby boys need your attention too. They need hugs and nurturing. They need to

 
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I miss Phil!

Saderday night. Yes, I know I spelled it Sad-erday instead of Saturday. It is the day of the week Phil died. I am hiding out at work. Working 14 hour days so I don't have to miss Phil. I miss him so much I cannot breathe. I mean I seriously have a real problem breathing. They say it is asthma. Really? At 49? I guess it is possible. Spiritually they say that lung problems comes from unresolved grief. Hmmm. I

 
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The Ghost of Christmas Past

Christmas Past Every year at Christmas we watch Scrooge. It is such a great story of how we tend to get stuck in what we think is important and it takes something really big and scary to jolt us out of being stuck….then we can do something different. I look at Phillips death as my big jolt. I feel tired and drained. I want to do something different….yet, I am not sure if I am. I love my kids….this makes

 
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