Grief recovery, loss of child, healing after death & loss 

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The last time I saw Phil

I remember the last time I saw and held Phil. It has been two weeks today since I last saw Phillip. He had just rented a new apartment and Paul, Josephine and I went over to see it. He had Ava Rose with him and Paul and I sang and danced with her. I have a video to post on it…unfortunately Phillip wasn't in the video….only Paul, Ava and I. I can hear his voice though. When we left I

 
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The Cremation on 911

The Cremation on 911 It seemed appropriate that September 11 was the day my son was cremated. I don't know why…it just did. He was born on the 4th of July, died on Labor Day Weekend and it just seemed like his life was always revolving around some sort of important date. I never knew anything about cremation. In Nebraska we always had a family plot. When I go home, I always visit the cemetary and I knew nearly everyone

 
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Day 7 without Phil

Today was rough. I had several melt downs. I was angry and sad and sad and then angry. I lashed out at my husband. I did things that were not rational. I rebelled against my husband. I popped a beer at 8:30 in the morning…then when my husband questioned me, I said, "Who makes these rules that you can't drink a beer in the morning?" I was angry at Phil today and then I woud feel guilt for being angry.

 
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Day six

It has been six days since the loss of my son. Each day brings a new emotion. Up and down. Today was almost as bad as the day I found out. Getting the funeral planned and taking care of Phil's body is my priority. I haven't slept much and the sleep I have gotten has been fitful. Get through it. Breathe in….breathe out. Please follow and like us:

 
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