Wow Phil. It has been almost six months since you died. On March 1, 2013 it will be six months. It is also 3 years March 1st since my mom died, Grandma. I never expected to outlive you though. I did her. I am working with the new reality I have now. It is opportunity
For all you dads out there…I want to share what I see happening. I want to share what I experienced happening. Of course this is not ALL dads…I am using it as a blanket statement because I know dads are busy making a living. They are focused. They want their sons to grow up and
Saderday night. Yes, I know I spelled it Sad-erday instead of Saturday. It is the day of the week Phil died. I am hiding out at work. Working 14 hour days so I don't have to miss Phil. I miss him so much I cannot breathe. I mean I seriously have a real problem breathing.
My son is gone. I miss him. Today is the second of January. Yesterday was four months since the police showed up one beautiful afternoon and informed us my son was no longer a part of this earth. I still do not know how that can be. My son was healthy. He was strong. He
Christmas Past Every year at Christmas we watch Scrooge. It is such a great story of how we tend to get stuck in what we think is important and it takes something really big and scary to jolt us out of being stuck….then we can do something different. I look at Phillips death as my
Election day was today. I saw Phillips ballot come in the mail right before he died and I asked him if he planned to vote in this election. He said yes. I think he enjoyed being a grownup. Election Day for a 22 Year Old. Phillip was 22 when he died just two months before
Ladybug, the name, was coined by European farmers who prayed to the Virgin Mary when pests began eating their crops. After ladybugs came and wiped out the invading insects, the farmers named them "beetle of Our Lady." This eventually was shortened to "lady beetle" and then "ladybug." Ladybug, the Nickname Before my grandaughter was born,
Emotion. It is laying in wait for me to have a thought. It springs from my subconscious and fights with my brain. Today I slept. I don't want to sleep so much…at least this is what is logical. I find that I am awake at night and sleeping during the day. I feel so drained.
Coping with death seems to elude me. What does coping with death mean? Isn't it obvious that none of us are getting out alive? Yet for me, I have been living my life as if death will never happen. My children will never die. My husband will never die. I will never die. Hell, even