Coping with death seems to elude me. What does coping with death mean? Isn't it obvious that none of us are getting out alive? Yet for me, I have been living my life as if death will never happen. My children will never die. My husband will never die. I will never die. Hell, even
Verizon Wireless sent us another bill today. It was addressed to Phillip Shelton. I have called Verizon Wireless about Phillip's cell phone bill. I called and told them he died and asked to get his text messages. This was a couple of days after he died. So, maybe September 3th or 4th. They said as
It has been 7 weeks since you left this earth. So many things are occuring. None of which I see as productive. Everyone is sad….some people involved are looking to place blame. I am really working with this as I don't want to go there. I could go to blame very easily and have from
We went camping this weekend. Thought about you a lot Phillip. There is so much going on….you wouldn't like what is going on and I don't think your friend would either. I hope you are at peace. I miss you and so does dad. He crys about it. He feels bad….like he let you down.
Yesterday was not Sad for the most part Yesterday was a great day. I woke up feeling great. I decided I was really doing well with my grief recovery. I thought to myself, I think I can actually work through this and live my life without being sad all the time. Today was mostly Sad
Grief has many faces. Part of grief and the grieving process is to be realistic with myself about my relationship with my son. It is the only way I can recover from the grief. We had our ups and downs. He took his own path when he was about 13 years old. It was not
Love Letters to Phillip started in 1993 when I had this idea of keeping a journal for all the kids. When Phillip died, I realized how much stuff I was holding on to for Phil. I have been keeping a journal for him since he was three years old and yet I never gave it
I remember in 1995 when my friend was murdered, I read a book about grief and it talked about the "new" normal. I do think that is a good way to put what happened into perspective as my daily routine has to shift now. Everything has to shift. Nothing is normal anymore. Holidays, the way
I am not a big fan of Saturdays anymore. Everytime I think of Phil's accident I remember it was Saturday morning at 10:41 AM. This was the time my son took his last breath. I don't like to think about it. Each week another Saturday comes and goes. I now refer to it as Sad-urday.
When Phil was little he was extremely obedient. He didn't always like being obedient, yet, he would comply with what his mother wanted. When the kids were little I used to tell them that happiness was an inside job. I had learned with my oldest daughter that making them sit in timeout for a specific