What is this site?
This site is dedicated to my beautiful son….he was 22 years old and going to San Diego for the long weekend over Labor Day. On the way there he crashed his car into a tree trying to go around a slow moving vehicle. He had a beautiful girl named Alyssa with him and she also died. They were great friends and I have no doubt they made a pack in their spiritual world prior to coming to this earth. Perhaps to support each other in their exit for whatever reason. An exit that in my opinion came for both of them way too young.
Michelle Shelton’s Blog about Phillip
I hope you will read my blog as I post my ramblings of a grief stricken mom…I am not brave or strong or inspiring as some have stated…I am just a mom muddeling through something I hoped I would never face when I held that beautiful boy in my arms…when I put him in his car seat, when he learned to run, ride his bike in the street, stay over at a friends, play football, drive a car, be on his own….all the times I worried something would take him from me….and then that day came.
The Depth of Saddness and the Search for Meaning
Now I walk through each day and this process. I never imagined my heart could feel so deeply….I have now explored the deepest part of my heart…I have gone deeper than I ever hoped to go and then deeper still with this….there are no words to describe the depth of this emotion I have. I can only hope that one day this deepest depth of emotional sadness will allow me to feel the highest heights of joy in my life…that my amazing child, who I always knew was a gift, allowed me, supported me, assisted me, to feel the greatest heights of joy that equal the depths of this grieving process. I cling to this thought as I struggle through this process on a daily basis.
The Birth of Phillip Shelton
I remember the day of Phillip’s birth. He was due on his dad’s birthday, June 29th. He was late and arrived on the morning of the 4th of July. He use to think everyone celebrated his birthday with fireworks.
Phillip was killed in a car accident on I-8 on his way to the beach in San Diego. As I write this it has been five days. I am very happy to have had 22 years with him. I love him and I miss him.
Phillip and MomDear Phillip-
Thank you for choosing me as your mom. It has been a wonderous ride. I will not blame myself for all the things I could have done, should have done differently or better. I am just a mom doing the best I can and you were just my son doing the best you could. I also will not blame you for what you could have done, should have done…didn’t do. I love you. I love you just the way you are with no regrets. I am so happy to have had the time I had with you. You were an amazing kid who brought me great joy.
Thank you for Ava Rose. I adore her as did you. I will keep your memory alive and answer her questions and show her videos of you so she has a sense of who you were in this physical life. I will teach her all that I know and pass on lessons you taught me on your life journey.
I love you and miss you so…my heart aches to hold you and I know you already know that. Our time together was much to short….no regrets…only love. xoxox