Grief recovery, loss of child, healing after death & loss 

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My Husbands Grief

Recently, my husbands grief has surfaced. It was always there, lying in wait, like a stealth lioness waiting to pounce.  He is the strong one. The one who peeled me off the floor and held me when I was sobbing to the point of vomiting. The one who would talk to the kids about processing the grief. The one who would allow.  Allow me to talk about Phil anytime I wanted and I knew he hurt to the core for

 
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Breaking Through to the Other Side: Coping with Death

by Jessica Kane In comparison with the past, people are currently living very fast-paced lives. While this certainly has its perks, it tends to interfere with some of the natural processes people must experience. When a person loses a loved one, he or she needs time to mourn that loss. Even more, that person needs support from other people. There was a time when entire neighborhoods shared in this experience, but that time has long passed. Nevertheless, it is essential

 
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Picking the scab called Grief

Yesterday my husband came home and told me that one of the nurses he works with had lost her nephew. He was 18 and shot himself while his family was at church. All the emotions came up. The pain was intense. I sought out the boy and looked at his obituary and wondered why. Why? I think about everything Phillip had to live for, Ava Rose, a family who loved him and it is upsetting that someone would intentionally take

 
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Suffering is Optional

Let’s call grief what it really is, PAIN. Pain hurts and our brain wants to protect us from hurt so we start to shut down. Physically, emotionally, socially. There are many downsides to this, the big one being that all of a sudden our life is defined not by the joy, but by the pain. Everything becomes about pain and sadness. No one does this intentionally and if I had not had a lot of training to be super aware

 
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What I love about my Husband

I was thinking about Phil the other day and it got me thinking about my husband. Phillip was so much like his dad….it was one of the things I loved best about him because Paul is such a great guy. There are so many things that I love about him. We will be married 26 years this year and I feel so very fortunate to have found such a great man. What is great about him? Well, there are so

 
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Taming the Mind is Key in Grief Recovery

Emma’s Jaw before Surgery. Five years ago I was talking to our youngest daughter, Emma, and she threw her head back and laughed. In that moment I felt sheer terror. When she tipped her head back I was able to see an awkwardly grown jawbone jutting out the wrong way. I wasn’t sure what it all meant but it was the beginning of my awareness that something could happen to my child. Was it a tumor, cancer, a bone disorder

 
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Learning to Care Again

25 Years of Marriage My husband Paul and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary on the 22 of November, 2014. We went away for a few days and stayed in a cabin. We worked, ate, drank and relaxed. We went thrift store shopping and antique shopping and tried a few restaurants. It was a fun little trip. It has been difficult since Phil died. We are often quite tired and these little trips have become our escape from the

 
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I’m so lucky!

I am so lucky. I was thinking about everything that happened and how it is circumstances. I can never change the circumstances yet I can choose how I handle those circumstances.  I really am fortunate. I am fortunate that I had 22 years with such a great kid. He taught me so much. He loved me. He helped me learn. I loved his smell, smile, quirks and enjoyed being around him. He had this great laugh and I am fortunate

 
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Trinkets of Phil

22 Year old boys have strange things in their apartments. It is just a fact of life. They collect beer bottles, whiskey bottles, music posters, old tennis shoes and trinkets. This is a stage my own husband sort of outgrew. I say “sort of” as just today he mentioned that he has his space for his stuff…which he then added is in his closet. I had put something in there that didn’t belong and he said, “Really? This is the

 
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The Car that my Son Died Driving

The New Normal – The Birth of a Child Two years ago, my baby died. My baby was 22 years old and had grown bigger than both his dad and I and yet, he was still my baby. I remember being obsessed with him when he was born. I took photos. I held him. I rocked him. Nursed him. Played with him. Changed him. Bathed him. Dressed him. I spent hours looking at him. Getting him to smile. Listening to his

 
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