Saderday night. Yes, I know I spelled it Sad-erday instead of Saturday. It is the day of the week Phil died. I am hiding out at work. Working 14 hour days so I don't have to miss Phil. I miss him so much I cannot breathe. I mean I seriously have a real problem breathing.
My son is gone. I miss him. Today is the second of January. Yesterday was four months since the police showed up one beautiful afternoon and informed us my son was no longer a part of this earth. I still do not know how that can be. My son was healthy. He was strong. He
Christmas Past Every year at Christmas we watch Scrooge. It is such a great story of how we tend to get stuck in what we think is important and it takes something really big and scary to jolt us out of being stuck….then we can do something different. I look at Phillips death as my
Election day was today. I saw Phillips ballot come in the mail right before he died and I asked him if he planned to vote in this election. He said yes. I think he enjoyed being a grownup. Election Day for a 22 Year Old. Phillip was 22 when he died just two months before
Ladybug, the name, was coined by European farmers who prayed to the Virgin Mary when pests began eating their crops. After ladybugs came and wiped out the invading insects, the farmers named them "beetle of Our Lady." This eventually was shortened to "lady beetle" and then "ladybug." Ladybug, the Nickname Before my grandaughter was born,
Emotion. It is laying in wait for me to have a thought. It springs from my subconscious and fights with my brain. Today I slept. I don't want to sleep so much…at least this is what is logical. I find that I am awake at night and sleeping during the day. I feel so drained.
Coping with death seems to elude me. What does coping with death mean? Isn't it obvious that none of us are getting out alive? Yet for me, I have been living my life as if death will never happen. My children will never die. My husband will never die. I will never die. Hell, even
Verizon Wireless sent us another bill today. It was addressed to Phillip Shelton. I have called Verizon Wireless about Phillip's cell phone bill. I called and told them he died and asked to get his text messages. This was a couple of days after he died. So, maybe September 3th or 4th. They said as
It has been 7 weeks since you left this earth. So many things are occuring. None of which I see as productive. Everyone is sad….some people involved are looking to place blame. I am really working with this as I don't want to go there. I could go to blame very easily and have from